Psalm 139:1-24

 (Tonight, as I was finishing up one of my books, I came across this passage that was used in the book. Specifically verses13-15. I felt in my spirit God telling me to go and do some writing about this passage. As I read the whole chapter, I realized it is my heart right now. So here it is.)

“ You search me, You know me……..” Many of us in the Christian, and maybe non- Christian, community know this passage. We know it almost as well as John 3:16. But how well do we understand it? This passage of scripture tells us that God knew us from the start. Before we were a glimmer in our earthly fathers eyes. He was thinking of us clear back during Creation. He was thinking of us when Adam and Eve sinned. When He flooded the whole earth to wipe it clean of sin. When Moses lead Israel out of Egypt. When David wrote this psalm. When He sent his Son to earth to live here like one of us. And when that Son hung on a cross and died for us. HE WAS THINKING OF US! Even those who do not believe in Him. He knows our thoughts, our hurts, our hearts.

“Where can I go to hide from your Spirit?” David asked. NO WHERE! There is no where you can go to hide from Him. If He knew you from the moment you were formed in your mother’s womb how can we possibly hide from Him? From His power? From His love? Why would you want to? You can not hide your hurt and brokenness. You can not hide that sin that no one on earth but you knows about. You can not hide the wrong done to you that you have berried deep inside praying you never have to face again. That is the thing about the Spirit, ours is bonded to His. And whether we want to admit it or not, that bond is stronger than any earthly bond that can be formed. We can not hide from Him, he is a part of us. No matter how hard you try to push Him away, he is there. He is the light in the darkness that guides our way through life. He is there in your trials carrying you through. He is your comfort in the sadness. He is there in your joy and triumph. He is there when you get yourself in trouble. When you feel like there is nowhere else to turn, He is there with arms wide open, waiting for you to turn around and run into the safety of His loving arms. In those arms, there is NO condemnation or ridicule. There is NO “ I told you so”, but there is love- pure, unending love. A love that you could never understand with your mind. It is unimaginable. It is a love so strong that it breaks the concrete, that I have put around my heart, weekly and replaces the holes with His love, joy and peace.

“ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” We beat ourselves up with, “ I wish I was Catherine McMahonprettier”, “I wish I was stronger”,” I wish I was thinner”,”I wish I could do what they do”. Society tells us we must be theses things to be perfect. What they don’t tell you is what kind of self-degrading things that those people had to do to look that way and how empty they feel. God made us to be a blessing to Him and when we change His creation we tell Him,” you didn’t do a good enough job”. We don’t just do this with our looks and physical abilities, we do this with our Gifting as well. “ I wish God would use me like that.” “ I want to teach that.” And we think it is so innocent to ask for those things, but God designed us all to work together to bring Glory to Him and grow the kingdom. He created us all to be apostles, prophets, teachers, preachers & evangelists. Each of us has one or more of these gifting, but by asking for one that God has not given us the authority to work in we tell Him we don’t’ like His gift. Instead, ask Him to show you first how he sees you. ( When I asked Him that I was floored…..) Then ask Him what He wants of you and to reveal that gift to you and show you how to cultivate that gift to use it for the good of the Body. You may be surprised at what He has to show you and has for you. ( I found by looking back at my life and the trials that have crossed my path and the personality I have and the abilities He has put in my life give a real good map to see what my giftings are.). Don’t hide from them, embrace them and face them. Once you work in them you will begin to fell complete in Him.

“Search me God and know my heart………….see if there is any offensive way in me, lead me in the way everlasting” This has been my hearts cry for weeks now. When we allow God to fully and completely have control in our lives, God’s guidance and direction doesn’t hurt so bad and doesn’t seem as confusing. He will reveal to you what He wants you to see in His time. Though we may get impatient, if we continue to just wait upon the Lord, He will show us what he has for us. When we start to push our way through and get ahead of God is when problems start and the revelation gets held back a bit longer. It will come with time. Some get their revelation right away and some take longer  but it will come when the time is right. Until then seek Him out. Search the Word. Pray. Get to know God on a level you have never known. It is amazing what he has shown me in my times when I seek nothing, just His face and grace. ( Hay I have 3 kids under 10 I need grace) It is a beautiful thing just to sit in His presence and bask in His Glory. There is no other place to be but with Him daily.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know me inside and out. You know the deepest part of me that maybe I have not even realized about myself. You knew who I would become when I was in my mother’s womb and you had me in mind clear back when you set the planets into motion. Lord, I pray that you would search my heart and show me anything that is not of you that you would have me get rid of and show me how to fill that in with more of you. Fill my cup with your Spirit so there is nothing of myself but only you. Reveal your plan for my life and the willingness to move in the gifts you have given me. I do not want one soul to miss out on knowing you more because I failed to wait on you. I am proud to be your child and want nothing more than your will in my life.

In your Holy Name,